Do It Afraid

Though I would not typically describe myself as a fearful person, I write this post on the third evening of the new year feeling fear of many things. Of success. Of time passed. Of missed opportunities. Of the countless times I’ve wanted to check-in with myself but instead, claimed busyness. So, close to midnight under the glow of a sewing machine & headphones starting at the top of Ariana Grande’s deluxe album of “Eternal Sunshine,” I invite introspection.

Photo: Nick Rasmussen
Model: Sandra Dunn

Looking through this gallery of photographs from this incredible shoot, it reminds me of 2O25’s notable happenings in the world of nykamping. It’s magical to see them in a list like this.

Photoshoots:
- Kelsey McQuown photographed me for EILEEN FISHER
- Mae Stier photographed Abby Baudry during lilac season
- Nick Rasmussen photographed Sandra Dunn in Irons
- Nick Rasmussen photographed Sandra Dunn on location at Forsu Farm
- Nick Rasmussen photographed Agnes Su in Irons
- Lindsey Makuwatsine photographed Abby Baudry for EILEEN FISHER
- Kelsey McQuown photographed me for The Little Fleet’s All Call Music Festival
- Mae Stier photographed me, Alyssa Smith & Alissa Thompson on location at IndieGrow
- Kelsey McQuown photographed me for the fall raffle

Exhibitions:
- “Water, Fire, UFO” at V Gallery in Omena
- “Radical Design” at Commongrounds for Traverse City Design Week

Auctions:
- Leelanau Montessori at the Old Art Building in Leland
- Folded Leaf Bookstore in Cedar, supporting LGBTQ youth

Fashion events:
- Attended Berlin fashion week pop-ups
- Judged “trashion show” at TC West
- Walked in TCFW at Slip.Vintage
- Attended Detroit’s show in East Village
- Visited “Superfine” exhibition at the Met

Collaborations:
- Patchwork tote bags with Alyssa Smith
- Giveaway with EILEEN FISHER ReNew
- Patchworked tank top with Cody Cook-Parrott for their quilt release at Cedar North

Quite frankly, owning a small business is just kinda scary. Being in charge of every product for said business adds a whole layer of scary. I finished a jacket today. A little shocked actually. It was a busy January day, with people stopping in, two made-to-order jackets purchased, one order shipped out & a new package prepared to ship tonight. It feels like my ideal chaotic day; success that I dreamed of leaves me wary, skeptical.

"What if it doesn’t work?"
"What if it does?"

When I signed the lease, I don’t remember thinking much about the business flourishing or not. I knew I could & would make it work. It has & in true transparency, I fully live off nykamping’s income & have for the last three full years. However, living & thriving definitely are different & I fear I’ve limited my potential. Expecting, pursuing & embracing abundance is the theme of this year for my relationship with nykamping. It’s proven to walk on two feet, but I think it can really soar – as long as I don’t keep pulling it back to earth.

This is where goals come in, which will require a little more thought for nykamping than Elijah Nykamp. I have the next few months planned out, with custom orders in January, made-to-order pieces in February, then March Madness 2.O with daily creations & video reels. Beyond that, I have ideas for a few collections, but minimal starting yet. Fashion shows are always a joy to be involved in, but plenty of work for not much reward. Collaborations prove successful but the coordinating takes serious mental capacity.

I’ve gone through “Eternal Sunshine” twice now, so I think it’s time to leave brainstorming for another day. For now, I just feel glad to have invested some moments remembering important events, scrolling through photos, smiling at special moments & reminding myself how I got through all those a little afraid. I pushed through to the other side. I’ll keep doing it with fear urging me to keep going.